photo by ups2006 via flikr.com

The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster

After two of those babies, the dullest, most by-the-book Vogon will be up on the bar in stilettos, yodeling mountain shanties and swearing he’s the king of the Gray Binding Fiefdoms of Saxaquine – A note on the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster’s effects.

Yes, it’s May 25 and that means its time for “Towel Day“! But, don’t panic, this is not some bizarre high-school locker room hazing ritual, it’s the annual tribute to the late Douglas Adams (1952-2001), author of (among many other things) The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. On that day, fans, around the universe proudly carry a towel in his honor.

To celebrate Towel Day in proper style, there is no substitute for science fiction’s most infamous of cocktails: The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster!

A History of the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster:

As far as cocktails for this occasion, none could be more appropriate than the infamous Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the fictional drink whose primary liquor is the equally fictional Janx Spirit. What does it taste like? Who knows, but the effects have been described as:

“having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon, wrapped ’round a large gold brick”
“the alcoholic equivalent to a mugging”
“expensive and bad for the head”

image credit: Hitchhiker Wiki

The Pangalactic Gargle Blaster

Created by by ex-President of the Universe Zaphod Beeblebrox, adapted from Hitchhiker Wiki.

Take the juice from one bottle of Ol’ Janx Spirit.
Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V — Oh, that Santraginean seawater! Oh, those Santraginean fish!
Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzene is lost).
Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it, in memory of all those happy hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones, subtle, sweet and mystic.
Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian Suns deep into the heart of the drink.
Sprinkle Zamphuor.
Add an olive.
Drink… but… very carefully…

Pan Galactic Gargleblaster “Terran” Recipes:

Douglas Adams explained the lack of authentic terrestrial versions on the fact that there are a number of environmental and weapons treaties, as well as laws of physics, which prevent the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster from being mixed on Earth. That really hasn’t stopped anyone from trying though…

http://j.mp/1qJh2n4 –hg2g bbc site
http://j.mp/1qJh5zb – a collection of many different recipes here.
http://j.mp/1NMFC1I
http://j.mp/1qJhy4B
http://j.mp/1qJhjXg
http://j.mp/1NMFKyc
http://j.mp/1qJhFNm

What is Towel Day?

So what’s up with the whole towel business? This quote should help out:

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value – you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to- hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can’t see it, it can’t see you – daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have “lost”. What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

Hence a phrase that has passed into hitchhiking slang, as in “Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There’s a frood who really knows where his towel is.” (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)

Check out the official Towel Day website for the happenings in your neck of the woods.

And for your viewing pleasure – The Towel Day 2011 official trailer: